Dear Stupid,
In response to your recent abduction of my brain I would like to inform you that I would really appreciate its return. I know that it must be entertaining you greatly to watch me try and function without such a neccessary organ as I myself have laughed at the misfortunate stupidness of others. However there will be dire consequences if I do not have my brain returned in the eminent future. I rue the day that you entered my life and filled my head with your nothingness and cotton ball fuzzyness. Heads will roll if the neccesary action is not taken imediately.
Thank-you,
My meaninless shell of a body, Natalie
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